{blog crasher}

and without further ado, here is hannah, my friend hannah, the one who vlogs...

www.todayinmyteenageangst.blogspot.com

{inside of my head}

you know how they say you should keep a notebook beside your bed so you can write down things you think of in the night/dreams you had that you might not remember in the morning?

this morning, i found this:

and if you have x-ray vision of sorts and are also pretty stinkin observant, you noticed that on the next page are the words, "i guess the nice thing about rain is...there are like 25 billion of them."

astute.

{multimedia monday}

{see more ridiculous 3d sidewalk chalk art here. worth a click.}

{click through if you're in a reader or email}

{the show-going time-travelling living room couch}

tonight, we came across one of barclay's old shows on vhs, from when he played guitar and sang in a band. it is, of course, great.

the whole thing is recorded on a borrowed video camera, and the quality is ok the people in it have no facial features or skin pigment. there's three guys in the band and their name is biased and they're 19 and they're playing a show at a college and there's even a rowdy little mosh pit happening up by the stage. 

 

so they're four songs in and i'm completely fascinated by this version of my husband that jumps around on the stage and sings punk songs and says silly things into the mic and i'm also laughing at some of the ways that he hasn't really changed, and then something kind of cheesy and sweet happens. 

"this one is for my wife," barclay says. the girls awww and the bassist laughs knowingly. barclay plays a chord and kind of chuckles. "i don't have a wife. i don't even have a girlfriend." whistles from the audience. "but this one is still for my wife. you know, someday."

and we're sitting here and i'm his wife and it's like a fantastic little time warp as 19 year-old single barclay sings for his wife seven years in the future as she sits with him on the show-going time-travelling living room couch. 

{vlogging attempt}

in which i share an exciting find and feel bashful in front of the camera. 

so short and painful, you can watch it about twice.

{hannah comes to visit}

today, i wanted to have a vlog on my blog but it was foggin in my noggin and i couldn't...think of anything to say.
that could have been such a cooler sentence had i been dr. seuss right there.

but the point is not that. the point is that i have tried vlogging in the privacy of my home several times and each time i began like this, "heyyyy..." and had some egg salad of a sentence for filler and ended like this, "no, i can't post that--". freeze frame with my mouth half open and my eyes half shut.

is that how i want you to think of me being? not so much.

but hannah, my friend hannah, she somehow vlogs just like she speaks. it's not awkward or forced or made-up or dumb, it's just her talking to her computer as if she can see all the people listening out there. it works for her.

so i thought i'd make her vlog here today. i told her, "hannah, if you have enough charisma, you can vlog on my blog and i'll send you egg nog." {but i didn't have to worry about her having enough charisma because she actually invented charisma when she was, like, two. so. there's that.} 

you might remember her from here, most recently, but she's been in my life for about six years now. she works at a library and loves to bring books home that she finds ridiculous just so that she can show them to people. she talks really fast and knows her way around the english language. she's dramatic and endearing and she's going to be famous some day, if only out of sheer determination. which is why, after watching this video, you need to follow the link to her blog and let her know you're there.

she will be happier than the sun.

period.

{1 feather, 2 feather, red feather, blue feather}

a playlist for your tired tuesday 

{click through if you're an email or google subscriber}

{a list}

{oh, alfalfa!}

i just found this picture at alivia's blog.

i've probably seen the little rascals more times in my life than i've been to the dentist, which is why i quote alfalfa and buckwheat all day long and have such sensitive teeth. 

i'm really, really stuck in the early 90s when it comes to movies and tv. we've been watching boy meets world lately on youtube--using imdb.com to find out the episode names and which order they go in--and have concluded that it might actually be one of the best sitcoms ever made. trust me, it's wittier and sadder and more romantic and just BETTER than your average "now" sitcom. 

see also: freaks and geeks, family matters, and the truman show.

{friday afternoon}

i walked down 13th to the used book store because used book stores are always changing and you need to go often if you don't want to miss anything.
and me, i've always been this way, i don't want to miss anything.

i found some things that hadn't been there before and some things that had been there but which i hadn't bought. i bought them, and on my way back home i looked up and noticed that the sky was a bit bigger than it usually is.

it kind of dizzies me, looking up into the sun and thinking about how big the out there is and how small the down here is.

it's moments like those that i feel the faintest urge to sit down right where i am and scream and scream and scream until someone comes along and assures me that i am visible enough and loud enough and existent enough to make a spectacle of myself.

do you think that's why some people dress and act so obnoxious and belligerent? because they feel like they'll just be swallowed up whole by the sky if they don't make enough noise?

{facts and findings}

i broke another toe. i do that a lot of the time. my toes are even more fragile than my porcelain pride or my pottery heart, and i am the proverbial bull in the china shop that is my self.

in short, i tried to walk into the bedroom and only got most of myself there. my pinky toe, i left in the hallway behind the door frame. at the time, i was carrying towels, which i threw on the floor as i hurled my body in the direction of the bed, beating my fists into the sheets and pillows and yelling ferociously at the night table. {in all fairness, the night table was completely innocent.}

facts and findings: i can yell very, very loud.

i'm considering retiring my feet and just renting a person to give me piggyback rides everywhere. then, i could wear 12 inch high heels and not worry about falling over or being taller than barclay. plus i could run marathons and not even get tired.

{a playlist for a quiet house}

it's quiet around the house this week. i've been cleaning and listening to music and doodling up a storm. here's what i've been listening to {click through if you're in a reader or subscribe by email}.

{metaphoring}

so this is monday. 

and yesterday was sunday, obviously.

obviously.

it's like this. you're 7, and you're playing on the merry-go-round with your three friends and that one awkward boy who's just always there. you're hanging on to the bar and you're fine and you like spinning. but then the teacher appears and needs to talk to you. it's something simple, like that your mom called and you're supposed to go to your aunt's house after school instead of going home, but adults don't like to talk to kids while they're spinning so she makes you get off the disc and stand in front of her and look her in the face while she relays the message. 

that first initial jump off the merry-go-round is fine but then you stumble all over the place and feel sick and dizzy for a bit and the whole time the teacher's talking you're looking at her lips but not hearing her and just thinking "i'm going to puke i'm going to puke i'm going to puke i'm going to puke..." 

soon, she's done talking and your friends are still on the merry-go-round and they're all like, "hey, jump back on!" 

but you're still really disoriented and jumping back on is really not as easy as it seems like it should be.

so that's metaphorical, obviously.

obviously.

i jumped off the merry-go-round last week. i'm fine, everything is fine, but i'm having trouble getting back on. and i feel like maybe it shouldn't be this hard? like maybe i'm just as klutzy emotionally as i am physically? 

i've decided maybe i'll just sit this week out, spend some time eating stuff and sleeping, and then next week i'll travel back in time to today and do a better job of the week. i know, time travel is tricky, but i found this guy in california who might be willing to take me.

{gramma}

one time, at Christmas, gramma accidentally sat down right in the salad.
i remembered that, just now, and had to tell you. i remember thinking, "ohhh. so i take after gramma." not that i've ever sat down right in the salad, but just that i've done a lot of things a lot like sitting down right in the salad.

gramma slipped into a coma a few days ago and the nurses said she'd probably not wake up again. we left as soon as we heard, to give gramma a hug and a kiss and sing her a song and say goodbye. i'm sure she heard us, even though she didn't say anything, because she reached out and grabbed my hand during the chorus of "amazing grace".

her funeral is tomorrow. i'm trying to get moving, because i have so much to do before we leave town tonight, for the second trip this week down highway 1. but i got thinking about seat salad and amazing grace.

she was really fantastic. i just hope that as i grow up i take after her in a lot of other ways.

i miss this lady.

{from inside a sad day}

i guess some days are just sadder and fuller and longer and bigger than others.
and you can sit inside of those days and let them swallow you whole, or you can bounce off of them to the next day, and the next day and the next day, until you get to the happier and shorter and smaller ones.

but this one's a bit sticky, and i think these next ones coming up will be too. i might sit in them for a little bit and have a good cry or two.

and then maybe i'll bounce next week.
schmaltzy, i know.

LA Light from Colin Rich on Vimeo.

{found this video on kelly ann's blog.}

{lately}

i've been doodling around on nice paper, making "greeting cards". 

{i really don't know why. i just wanted to.}

{chair squeaks: a paper rant}

{folk fest 2011}

i have one sunburn on my right shoulder. it is the size of a coffee coaster, and it doesn't hurt. i don't understand it, but i'm glad that my coffee coaster sunburn is located there, and not on my face. and, considering the fact that all i did this weekend was sit in the hot sun, i guess i should even consider myself lucky.

i'm descending like a queen from the adrenaline high that is a full weekend of live music. i don't really understand how everyone in the world doesn't feel like they've been hit by a bolt of crazy lightning at the  prospect of a music festival. i spent the weekend running from stage to stage, squeezing into the front row, taking excessive amounts of crappy cell phone pictures, examining and reexamining my folk fest schedule, and digging my fingernails into my friends' knees when a familiar song was played. those unlucky enough to be present with me through all of this spent the weekend being a little bit ignored and saying things like, "it's ok, suzy. we'll get there soon. you'll only miss, like, one song." and "i don't know who this even is."

to you, my friends, i am sorry. when it comes to live music, i will quote chuck norris and say, "i am serious...as a heart attack." i'm as serious as that guy karate chopping the dancing lady in this picture i took at the esl show:

anyway. the point is completely not that. the point is that it was a fantastic weekend and i am happy as a clam but tired as, probably, a mountain climber. 

and kind of, don't judge me, dreading going downtown today. because all of the tents will be gone and all of the musicians will be on airplanes to other places. and downtown will be all business people and hot dog stands again. 

so, i guess, until next year, i'll just listen to my favourites from this year's folk fest on grooveshark. here's a wee playlist for you.
{asperuusual, you'll have to click through if you're an email or reader subscriber.}

{folk festing!}

it's my favourite weekend of the year. the gates, tents, and stages go up and victoria park is filled with four stages of fantastic music. we kicked it off last night on a blanket under the northern lights listening to andrew bird whistle.

andrew bird, you guys, is a genius. if he ever gets out his violin and loop station and wants to sing for you, let him.





more today. the sun is out, the sky is blue, and my toes are all tingly.

{ps: i was over at three for the road yesterday. go say hi to jillian!}

{trivial pursuit and me: a paper rant}

{we've got to get away}

here is something for you to consider:



and here is a playlist to go with getting gone
{you'll need to click through if you're in the google reader.}



because here is great and all, but sometimes you need to be there, instead.
and then you come back and realize why you're here in the first place.

{handshaking: a paper rant}

{things that are not as they seem}

the thing about life is that you can only take about 35% of what you see at face value. maybe quite possibly less. which, if you think about it long enough, will drive you crazy and make you a paranoid freak, like me.

so here: whet your proverbial soon-to-be unreasonably suspicious whistle. i have compiled a small sampling of the things that are not as they seem. if you'd rather think about pretty things, click here instead.

1. that upbeat-sounding bee gees song that usually happens in a movie during a happy part



the thing about this song is that it sounds happy, because nobody knows the words. we all just mumble a lot and then sing the two words that we know.

it's actually kind of depressing.

{exhibit a: verse 1}
                well you can tell by the way i use my walk, i'm a woman's man--no time to talk
                i like my music loud, my women warm, i've been kicked around since i was born
                and now it's alright, it's okay, and you may look the other way
                and we can try to understand the new york times' effects on man

{exhibit b: the chorus}
                whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother you're staying alive, staying alive
                feel the city breaking and everybody's shaking but we're staying alive, staying alive

{exhibit c: the bridge}
                life going nowhere, somebody help me, yeah
                life going nowhere, somebody help me, yeah

just to make sure, i sat down at the piano one day and played it slowly and with a lot of feeling. sure enough: it's really a very sad song.


2. the mocha coconut blended frappuccino from starbucks

ever since starbucks started making these things, everyone i know has been recommending them to me. and i mean, they sound fantastic. and i'm one of those people who don't drink pop, but feel like anything coffee is probably not that bad for me.

but diiiiiid youuuu knowwww...

a sugary monster lurks beneath the cream-peaked mountain atop this masterpiece. yes, i'm about to be that annoying nutrition geek that ruins a good thing for you.

550 calories
18 grams of fat
89 grams of sugar

that's like drinking two cans of coke and then eating a piece of cake.

3. your bed {grosses me out}

i can't even tell you all you need to know about your bed. if you're going to be a paranoid freak about anything, pick to be a paranoid freak about your bed. it's disgusting. your mattress gains 10-20 pounds over its lifetime because of dust mites and their dust mite-y poop.

there's a nifty article on that here. it will thoroughly disgust you and you'll probably want to sleep standing up for the rest of your life. i know i do.


that's all i have for now. i mean, there are a plethora of things to be paranoid about, but it just occurred to me that maybe you enjoy your naivety. maybe you like your music happy, your drinks sweet, and your bed clean.

well, okay.